i rarely ever tell people how i really feel. simply because i feel that no one will understand me or even try to understand me for that matter. see i can smile day and night and act like i have it all together. but inside i am a mess. i’m brokenhearted, sad, mad, regretful. i’ve done things i’m not proud of, forgiven people who didn’t deserve it, said things i didn’t mean but no one knows that about me. no one realizes how much pain i’m in and what a big part of that pain is caused by those who have once been close to me or still are. i’m nice to everyone and i give everyone the benefit of the doubt. why? because i believe that everyone deserves a chance to be understood. however that has never turned out so great for me. i get used and lied to all the time. you’d think i would have learned by now but i haven’t and i don’t think i ever will. maybe one day someone will come along who i can tell all my secrets too and that person wont walk away or become one of the many scars on my heart. but until then i will continue to put a fake smile on my face and continue to be optimistic.